If you want something fantastic to read, then you should go check out my story, which is called My Worst Enemy. Click on the title and you will be taken to a world of amusement and a great read. Chapter 4 will be uploaded tomorrow night.
“You Make Me Smile.”
A very good friend of mine, whom I’m sort of crushing on, told me that tonight. We’ll call him Dancer, and if he was to ever read this, I’m pretty sure he would appreciate the name, and immediately know who I’m talking about. So, with that being said, I am so glad I took this off from being connected to Facebook. Too many people were reading this that I knew and shit was hitting the fan. Anyway, Dancer messaged me and said
“You make me smile.” Well, of course I immediately message him back and asked “why’s that?” You know what he says, which is pretty awesome all in it’s own, but not quite what I wanted to hear, and still made me smile. “Because you’re my friend.” I don’t get it. But maybe that’s exactly what he meant, but he’s sending me some majorly mixed signals. One minute he flirts with me and then the next he says something along the lines of ewww you’re like my sister. It’s killing me. My sister and a few friends of mine think I should just MAN UP and say something to him, but if I say something, if I cross that line there’s no coming back. It could either push us closer together or further apart. It would kill me to loose him. He’s been a rock to me through a lot of my black cloud that has started creeping its way back over my head. All I know is he also makes me smile. *sigh*
I’ve decided that since I forgave my friend, then I should forgive the guy “Douche Bag” that was also involved in the whole mess. So, yesterday I did message him telling him that I was still hurt about what he did to me, but I forgive him. I don’t want to keep carrying around this anger I have towards him. But he messaged me back telling me he was sorry for everything. I told him his apology was accepted, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or even could be friends with him again. My friend is hurting because he hurt her and even though it really bothers me to hear her talk about him and their relationship, I know something has been bothering her, but out of respect she wouldn’t talk to me about it, but I’m her best friend and I want our friendship to get back to 100% again, so I listen and give advice. The whole situation is stupid and never should’ve blown up like that. I’ve kinda talked about it with her, about what happened, but to be honest, I just want to put it all behind us and pretend like it never happened. But everyone knows it never works that way. I’m trying though.
I haven’t talked to my “Ex” since Sunday night and I’m having major conflicting feelings about it. I could sit here and write about how much I miss him, but this week I don’t. And to you the reader, you’re probably saying that’s a good thing, but then I start thinking about stupid thoughts like If I’m not thinking about him, then he’s probably not thinking about me. I don’t want him to forget about me. I want him to miss me. I want to hear him say he misses me, but then again I don’t. It’s easier when we don’t talk. Waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy easier. Also, in exactly 7 days would’ve been 9 years for us. 9 years. Makes me shake my head and roll my eyes.
Halloween is coming. I love this month. All the tv shows that are Halloween related. All the really cute costumes to try on. I’m leaning between the Dreadful Doll costume or the Harlequin Clown, both in which are super freaking cute, as you can tell from the pictures. Which one do you like the best???? The Dreadful Doll is the one on the left and the Harlequin Clown is on the right.