“May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
‘Just a day,” he said down to the flask is his fist,
‘Ain’t been sober his maybe October of last year.’
Here in town you can tell he’s been down for a while,
But, my God, it’s so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I’ll just sing about it.
Cause you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in hands,
And breathe… just breathe
Oh breathe… just breathe.”
God, I love that song. It just shakes me completely to my core. If you don’t know what the song is, it’s “Breathe (2Am)” by Anna Nalick. The verse and chorus I just posted is my favorite. You should YouTube it and pay attention to the beautiful words. Every time I hear it, it makes me belt it out and sing as loudly as I can without a care in the world. I ♥ moments like that!!!
Well, last night was a “Bar” night. I don’t usually go on Thursdays, but a bunch of guests that are staying at my hotel were all going and they kept begging me to go. I had a blast. It was a night of drinking, flirting, and dancing. “Dancer” called me a hippy and danced with me a lot. He says he called me a hippy, because I just kept dancing to every song whether it was rap, country, or even rock n roll, and most times by myself. I get like that sometimes. I get to the point to where I just don’t care anymore. I was drinking and all I wanted to do was dance. Whether it’s with someone or by myself. “Dancer” had a little too much to drink, so I ended up running him home, but before hand we were standing outside talking to a bunch of the guests of my hotel, and they were going on and on about how much prettier I was when I was in normal clothes and not my work uniform. I would tell them thank you and smile, but they just kept going. Drunk men crack me up. As “Dancer” and I were walking off, the guys started yelling about how lucky he was. I mean literally yelling and whooping across the parking lot. It was so embarrassing. Even more embarrassing when I had to take some of them back to the hotel. “Dancer” and I have plans Sunday night. A completely platonic dinner. I don’t get it. He still flirts, but then tells me it’s weird when he crosses the “friendship zone.” Ugh!
I am freaking out. My dad messaged me and asked me to come over to talk to him because he was concerned about me. My dad has NEVER called me and asked me to come over and talk to him because he was concerned about me. I have NO idea what he wants to talk to me about, but I am nervous as shit and have been begging my sister to try and get it out of him. She just keeps telling me she’s not getting in the middle. I understand, but come on, I am going to have an anxiety attack. I asked him if I was in trouble and he said, “You’re 30 years old. You don’t get in trouble anymore.” Even thinking about him being disappointed in me kills me. I have not tried my hardest in my life to make my dad proud. I’ve just kind of gone with the flow, but no matter what he’s always told me he was proud, even though I could tell he knew I could be something better. I’m going to try and make him proud of me. But right now, I am so upset. I don’t know what he wants to talk to me about and it’s about to drive me insane. UGH!!! I’m just going to call him as soon as I get up tomorrow.
I have “writer’s block” so bad. I don’t know where to take my story to next or even how to get it to where I want it to go. I’m gonna have to break down and ask my friend, Walt, what he thinks should happen next. Or actually how to get it to where I want it. If you haven’t read it yet, I think you should go check out my older blog. You may like it.