“I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if it’s just for a second, that I’ve crossed your mind.” -anonymous
My crush on “Dancer” is getting worse and bigger. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. I mean, a lot. He comes up to my work almost every night now and hangs out with me. We talk about everything and anything. It makes me happy. He makes me happy. It’s not weird to me or even awkward. Our relationship is completely platonic right now and it’s AMAZING. I told him tonight that being around him makes me happy and completely pushes the “ex” out of my mind. I don’t think about him, miss him, or anything when “Dancer” is around. He flirts me, but always backtracks and says he’s just teasing me. And then I will flirt back and he immediately goes quiet. He doesn’t know if I’m serious or not, but I always tell him I’m just teasing. Finally, tonight I was like ‘What if I wasn’t teasing?’ He got really quiet and said, ‘Well, I guess we’ll cross that bridge if it happens.’ So, as things are going right now, I will probably not tell him. I will keep it all to myself, because I can’t loose him. I can’t. He’s the only thing/person that takes my mind off the “ex.” I have to keep it to myself and it’s actually okay. I’d rather have him as my friend than ruin our friendship. What would you do? Would you tell him or keep it to yourself knowing that it could be something great? I will take any advice you may have to off. 🙂
Tonight, at work, this really hot guy checks into my hotel and asks me for the Gov’t rate, so being the talkative person I am, I ask him if he’s stationed at the Military base about 30 miles from my town. He says yes and then whispers, “I’m a Wounded Soldier.” I looked up at him surprised and smiled as I said, “Excuse me.” He went on to tell me about being shot in the back of the neck, close to his spine. I was like, “Well, you look pretty good for getting shot. And I’m glad you’re okay.” He smiles at me the most beautiful smiles and then drops a huge bomb. Apparently, his spine is deteriorating and he will end up being paralyzed from the neck down. My jaw literally dropped to the floor and I could feel the tears welling up in the corner of my eyes. The sadness in his eyes that came through after he told me was a look I will never forget. I told him I was really sorry, smiled my best smile, and also told him I would pray for him. I wanted to run to the other side of the counter and give him a huge hug, but he was there for a wedding reception and did check in two guests for the room. So, I’m guessing he had a girlfriend. I felt so bad for him. It really broke my heart, shattered it into a million pieces, but I thank him for fighting for my freedom. I can’t shake the feeling and how upset he was, but he was beautiful in that same moment. Please pray for him. His name was Matt. That’s all I can give you.
I’m not happy about Winter closing in on us. It’s coming a whole lot faster than I’m ready for. I love the snow, but I seriously can not stand to be cold. Once I am cold, I can’t warm up. Once my toes and nose get to that point, there’s no coming back from that. No matter how much clothes I put on. I’m all about the warm weather. I love Summer, the heat, the swimming suits, pools, and the sun’s rays. Spring is pretty damn awesome too, but it seems like this year fall has been completely missed and it went straight on to Winter. I can’t take this. Already. I didn’t even get a chance to “warm” up to it. To gradually go into the coldness. It’s almost time for me to hibernate and not come out until that sun is shining warm, warm rays to warm me up. Ugh. I am not happy about this situation.
p.s. Chapter 4 of my story will be posted Monday night. But if you haven’t read it as of now, go check it out. Here’s the link: