Dreams are just that. Dreams.

I sit here daydreaming as I look outside the window of my office and can’t help but wonder how many other people are doing exactly the same thing I’m doing. What are they dreaming about? Are they happy? Bored? Remembering things that have happened in the past? I know I look out the window and think about what I wish I could be doing if I were outside right now enjoying this sunlight on my face and arms. The sunlight just makes me happier in general. I don’t know what it is, but the warmth and sunshine actually make me want to get up early just so I can enjoy some of it. It’s amazing what it does for you. For your mind, your soul, and your body. I try to soak up as much as I can as long as I can, but right now I’m stuck in this office for a couple more hours. I’m cutting out early today and I’m gonna spend as much time as I can enjoying this weather and probably daydreaming about how I wish my life really was. Or something like that. I’m working on fixing my life, becoming a better person, and also living with who I am, but this shit is hard. I didn’t realize how crazy of a path I was walking, but now living at home and doing hardly anything anymore has shown me how boring just sitting at home can be also. I guess it’s a no-win situation, but all I know is I hate it. I’m not the type to sit at home and do absolutely nothing. Its not in my nature and how my dad and step-mom can do it is amazing to me. They hardly do anything. Maybe I sat at home for 9 years while I was with my ex and did nothing together, maybe that’s why I have this urge to do something all the time, but come on, how can you just sit there every night day in and day out watching TV? I’ve tried doing it and I HATE it. There’s no way I can spend as much time as I have already of not doing anything. Most of my best friends are in great relationships right now and hardly have time to hang out, so the plan is to meet some new people this Summer and not focus all my time and energy on my best friends. I’ll still be there for them and they will still officially be my best friends, but I’ve got to do something else besides sitting at home by myself while they’re with their boyfriends doing whatever it is that couples do these days. Which by the way is a post I long to write about. Couples. What the hell is wrong with this generation? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. I’ll post that one this week sometime. Probably tomorrow when I’m sitting in the office all day by myself again. My co-workers are at a conference. And I literally can not sit here all day long by myself. I’m gonna go insane. So, I’m leaving early in 2 hours, gonna put my swimsuit on, lather on some oil, and lay out until I’m sweating so much it’s insane! Ah, I’m so excited. 🙂



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