Believe.In.Me.

“It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside.” -Unknown.

This world is so twisted when it comes to love and relationships. Beyond twisted. People play games to try and figure out if the person is worth their time or not, they play with your mind to see how far they can push things without ever really caring what it does to you, and then, then maybe you’ll be accepted into their lives as someone they might want to have an actual relationship with. I’m so sick of it. I’m tired of trying and trying to only get burned in the end. What do I have to do to make you realize I’m worth it? I just want someone, to actually believe in me.

“One” and I are still talking, still hanging out, and still doing whatever it is that we are doing. He finally kissed me the other night and it was amazing. Kissing is a huge thing for me. I’ve been with two different guys who didn’t like kissing and I won’t go through that again. My best friend thinks that he’s not going to be good for me and she may be right, but that’s something I’m gonna have to figure out on my own. I did tell her that in 2 months if things were still the same and we hadn’t gone anywhere then she could slap and tell me I was headed into a bad path, but right now I feel like things are okay. Even if he does press my buttons, repeatedly.  But he did admit last night that he’s doing it to see how much he can get away with. I can handle quite a bit so we’ll see how far he thinks he’s going to get. I’ve been stepped on quite a bit when it comes to relationships, so I know when to step back or when to push. I’ve come to conclusion that he will end up being my boyfriend. I know he will. I just need him to believe in me.

He does make me beyond happy though when I’m with him. I feel like nothing can stop me or go wrong. I feel free and I want to smile at all times. Even after I leave him, the bubble takes a very long time to wear off.

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