Today has totally been a Monday. Some of it has been good, really good, but some of it has been bad, but good at the same time. I just need to remember that every action you do has a consequence too. Today has been a really good day even if stupid things have been said to try to bring me down, but guesssssss what, I win this round and you will never bring me down again. Ever.
Last night my room-mate and I had a dinner party. We invited her boyfriend and “Dancer.” Tacos were made and destroyed by all 4 of us. We ate the shit out of those tacos. Tacos are probably my favorite food these days and I think it’s because my “ex” didn’t like them and we hardly ate them. Anyway that’s besides the point. After we ate we had some cookies that my room-mate made and then got way into a game of Apples to Apples. We laughed so hard and had a great time just playing a stupid board game. The room-mate won, then “Dancer”, me, and then roommate’s boyfriend. The “Dancer“ and I were trying to text each other while we were sitting there. We quickly found out that his texts weren’t going through. I could get everyone else’s texts, but his. He was even getting mine. We could not figure out what was going on. I bet we sent 100 messages back and forth to each other before I decided to call the phone company to have them figure out what the hell was going what. Guess what, after almost an hour on the phone with them, they couldn’t figure it out. Of course. So, I figured I would back track, because apparently I hadn’t been getting his texts since the night before, and I deleted his name plus the app I downloaded before I thought I stopped getting his texts. I guess that’s what did the trick, because about 10 minutes later I was getting his texts. Thank Goodness. He’s the person I text almost the most these days. We texted for a little bit after he left and then he passed out early. Soon after he passed out I came into my room to paint my nails and to have a huge text convo with my best friend, “Teenie.” It was great until she passed out on me and my Insomnia kicked in. I didn’t fall asleep until almost 6 in the morning and I got up roughly around 12. Lets just say I wasn’t a happy camper when I woke up.
I don’t do well with waking up. I definitely do not do well when I’m tired, had very little sleep, and horrible nightmares about my
“ex.” I had some messed up dreams about him moving and him having sex with a friend of mine. So, I was seriously crabbie when I got up. I sat outside and smoked like 4 smokes and read all my texts that I have. Finally, I was calmer. But I still spent the whole day in my room, alone. I just did not want to be bothered. I got caught up on some blogs that I hadn’t read.
Finally, 8:00pm rolled around and I headed to Penny Bagel’s house. We talked for a bit about what was going on in our life and I told her I really wanted my own place. I really want to be alone. I’m tired of living with someone. I’ve been living with someone for almost 10 years. I’ve never lived alone. Never. She immediately gets on a local website and finds one. As she reads it to me, I leaned over her to look at the pictures, and it’s cute. It’s $335 a month. I’ve been paying my room-mate $300 a month for a room. A fucking room with baby border that she won’t let me tear down. Anyway, it’s an 1 bedroom efficiency apartment. Utilities, water, sewer, trash, heating, and ac are all paid for. I was like Really. This is too good to be true. Penny hands me my phone and makes me call the landlord. Turns out I’ve known the guy since I was a Freshmen in high school. I talked to him for a bit and made an appointment to look at one on Friday at 1:00. I am so excited. So is Penny. There’s only one apartment that has hardwood floors and that’s the one I’m going to look at. I can’t wait. I hope I like it and I can move in this weekend. I can pay him almost all of it except for the deposit, so I’m hoping Penny, my new manager, can talk to him and see if I can make payments. He’s going to let me paint. I literally want to do cartwheels. The only problem is, I can’t have pets. I have a cat. A cat that is like a child to me. I’ve decided I’m bringing her anyway. What are the odds of the owner coming over to my apartment for no apparent reason. If he does, I will hide her. If I get caught, then I’m just going to say I’m watching her and I will figure shit out. She’s fat and lazy. It’s not like she’s going to running around the apartment making a lot of noise. I think we’ve got this down. Did I tell you it was upstairs???? Yes. I hate people walking above me. I have almost everything except most kitchen appliances and a couch. Speaking of couch……. that leads me to my next subject. Ah, such excitement today.
So, my couches are at my
“ex’s” house still. Great. So, I message him asking if I could have the loveseat. He immediately messages me back saying I could have the couch and the loveseat back. I told him I didn’t need both couches because I’m pretty sure they both won’t fit. And I proceed to tell him about the apartment. He then asks me why I want to move. So, I send a seriously long text about how I’m paying $300 for a room when I could be paying $325 for a whole apartment. Utilities and all paid. How I need to become more independent and live on my own for a bit. He texts me back asking me when I started having actual money and how he always knew I was lying about be broke. But he was glad I just admitted it, because it made his decision a whole lot easier. I was in shock. I just sat there staring at my phone is shock. Penny looked at me and grabbed my phone out of my hand, read it really quick, and shook her head telling me not to text him back, but I couldn’t just let it slide. So, I messaged him back saying something about how I was paying for my car, our cell phone bill, and dinner every other night for us. I also acknowledged the fact that I have trouble saving money, but I was working on that and becoming more independent. So, then he texts me back saying that this was a waste of time, that I was a waste of time. I got pissed and went off. I told him he was an asshole, pathetic, and I wasn’t doing this shit with him. I also told him not to text me back, but of course he does saying, ” I stand corrected, you WERE a waste of time.” I told him he was too, asshole, that we have been broken up for 6 months now and he needed to get over himself. I also said that he was seriously pathetic for mean to me for trying to better myself. I said, I will call you if I get the apartment and want to grab my couch and that things he says to me don’t hurt me anymore. It was finally over. I was done. I am done. Why would I even want to be friends with someone like him? I feel free. I finally got some things out that I had been building up. I ALWAYS let him say or call me whatever he wants to me and I never stand up for myself.
But that’s not where the story ends. 2:00am hits and I’m in the middle of writing this when my phone goes off. I ignore it for a moment and it goes off again reminding me I had a text. I quickly check it and start laughing. It’ the
“ex.” The text reads “I’m glad things I said didn’t hurt you. I’m sorry for getting mad. Goodnight.” I quickly texted him back that I was sorry for calling him such horrible things and goodnight. What the hell? Why would he get so mad and say horrible things to me and then two hours later apologize?
So, It has been a pretty long day. Another blogger on here wrote me a poem about “Dancer” and I. I re-blogged it. If you get a chance, you should read it. It’s amazing. You may even end up following him, because all of his poetry is pretty amazing.
Chapter 4 of my story will be uploaded tomorrow evening.